Pool-party/BBQ Yesterday/this-morning

So, Yesterday, my Master and I had a kinky pool-party/BBQ thing where clothing and play were optional and I got to run around naked for the first time. It was crazy! (In a good way, lol.) -grins-



Thank you so so so much to everyone for coming, you really made the party :). Thank you Lutrell for caning and spanking the shit out of my ass, and to everyone else who contributed to the lovely huge bruises on my very sore ass. -very big grin- :P. Thank you MasterBedroom for the beautiful ropework at the end of the evening/morning. -blushes and smiles shyly- . A big big big MAJOR thanks to the wonderful ladies and gents who got to the house first and helped get it all beautiful and ready for the party!



So, to start from the begining. A couple friends arrived just on time (noon), and W/we (the host/hostess Master and I and O/our housemate KkittyCrack) were no where near ready for a party; the house wasn't in order yet and W/we were both stressing out over it. So Master lefted to go get drinks and food, and while He was out, I wanted to get the house cleaned up and surprise Him with it, so I asked nicely for their help and together, the five of us got the house all beautiful. Master was very very surprised, and proud of all of us (especially me), which was a very good feeling. -grins happily-



Anyways, after He got there, the party really started; people started heading into the pool and the fun began. It was the first party W/we've had at this house so it was a kinda 10-month-late house warming thing. So as the party goes, Master orders me go swimming naked, which wasn't too bad at all, just kinda very embarrassing at first . -blushes brightly-



Btw, for those of you who weren't there or don't already know this, with my sub side comes my brat/wolf side. It's pretty much my subwolfish personality; see, usually, when I'm being played with, as in flogged, caned, whatever (just impact stuff), I tend to be pretty quiet, but when my wolf is out to play, it's different. I'll fight and be stubborn and defiant, not neccessarily intentionally, but because I literally can't help it; that mentality takes over and it needs to be held down and forced to accept what it wants, and when it gets it, the reaction is the complete opposite of what it normally would be. I will either burst out laughing and giggle as I'm being hit, no matter how hard it is, or I'll yelp/eep very very loudly; I tend to unintentionally draw a crowd when this happens. . Also, when I'm either really nervous (especailly especially when I'm nervous) or in the after affects of coming down from subspace, I tend to be very ADD and pretty much say the first things that come to my mind, which is usually commenting on everything, like the fact that the Tiki torches looked pretty or how you can't see that many stars in the sky, things like that.



Lionhard had to leave at one point (but reterns later) but before he left gave me lots of spanks and even some beltings which were very nice XD. -snickers-



I don't rememebr what I did to make him get revenge, but Wyrmrider held me down and spanked me a bunch before using this kinda leather paddle thing on my poor innoccent pale butt -blushes-. It was very awesome. -grins- Master even came over and used the leather thing on me.



It was really awesome when my best friend Tatsuchan18 and her Dom BranDom got there because (though I don't remember what I did), it end resulted in Master taking hold of my left arm, and Wyrmrider taking hold of my left, and VivaciousQuirk held my legs open. -squirms and blushes-.



I got to watch Master play with MadameLazonga before Lutrell and I pitched in and stroked and stratched her back and gave her lots of spankings. It was actually a very beautiful sight to see, which is odd for me a little bit. -shuffles feet and smiles shyly-



Also, sometime in the midst of everything, Master and I snuck away from everything to go talk, which was nice because W/we talked about a few things that needed addressing, and afterwards I think W/we both kinda felt a little better.



I got to smack KkittyCrack's tits a lot, which was awesome. And and and and! Lutrell caned the shit out of my ass! It was very very very nice! Especially when she added spanks too. -big happy grin and dances- . But then things got frustrating because there was so much loud talking and everything that I just couldn't get into that right headspace, and then when I did, I couldn't pull the trigger and go into subspace. I was so pissed off I ended up sobbing and yelling 'fuck' loudly. -pouts cutely-



My ass felt very....odd afterwards, because it was kinda numb, where if I ran my fingers over it, I couldn't feel it, but if someone hit my ass, I could feel it. So a lot of people seemed to very much enjoy smacking my ass and most of the time didn't hear any arguments from me. -grins-



As the party progressed, SlaveKatzchenRei and I decided to do a wax play scene where both of us laid down next to eachother on a tarp and had our significant others pore wax all over us (my Master on me, and her play partner and some friends on her). It was interesting; I love it, but hate it at the same time....I dunno....It's weird. That was also only the second time I've ever done wax play.



After cleaning off all the wax, Master and I took one of KkittyCrack's friends into the NorthWing and double teamed her, caning and spanking her. The end of the scene is what surprised me the most; as she was sitting across from U/us telling U/us what she thought, she said she tought I was beautiful and the most woman and more pretty and sexy of all the women that were there, which completely floored me, made me blush like crazy, and shake my head in disagreement. -very bright blush-



The end of the evening was one of my favorite bits of the evening. Master and I (well, mostly Master) were talking to MasterBedroom about rope stuff and other things, and when he went away to go do something, I asked Master if maybe W/we could do some rope harness stuff. So MasterBedroom comes back and he made this beautiful beautiful rope harness on me (btw, I think I'm discovering that I have a small rope fetish ), and had fun while doing it -grins-. You know, I don't think I ever realized how intense MasterBedroom's stare is; not that that's a bad thing or anything, it was just interesting and made me nervous and want to fidget (but not in a bad way if that makes any sense) -blushes brightly-. But yeah. Then I mentioned something about him being evil and me trying to steal his pretty blue rope, and he made torpee....torpea...torpido? tits on me with said pretty rope and that jsut made me blush all the more. But then he brought out these big clamp things and I could feel a little bit of a panic attack starting, and then when Master ordered me to put my hands behind my back and leave them there, the attack started shoving itself forward, and when MasterBedroom started teasing me with the clamp thing, the attack started pushing through the walls and into my safe place, completely taking over my mind and just filling me with panic. But the minute he realised what was happening he stoppped and put down the clamps and asked me what I needed. It was actually really sweet of him, which I very much appreciated. Master came over and held me while I slept and said I was done for the night. After all that and then right before MasterBedroom left, Master and him double teamed me and spanked my ass, making it all the more sore. Something that I did discover though, which I found very very interesting. See, I have a big fear of men and don't really trust them much at all, but I do trust MasterBedroom, and I don't think I'd mind playing again, but I don't think people on the whole would want to play with me again.....-deeper blush-

I apologize if I forgot anything, the evening is still kinda blended together in my head and I'm trying to sort it all out so I might be editing this every few hours or so.

BDSM quiz time!!!!!

Test results as of today for a BDSM quiz. 's awesome.

Exhibitionist / Voyeur 96% Sadist 93% Masochist 86% Submissive 86% Degradation Lover 79% Switch 71% Experimental 68% Bondage 68% Dominant 54% Vanilla 14%

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poeticthinker/do-you-have-an-inclination-for-bdsm/

innoccent little new photographer by day, wicked little slutty wolf by night. what's a girl to do with her weekends, then?

Answer is? Be a wicked wicked naughty little slut for my Master. *grins evilly*

Regrets that come to haunt us

song of the day: "Anywhere" by Evanescense

I've never really been one to have regrets, but lately.... I dunno.... They've been everywhere I've turned....I do not regret where I am not and who I am with, because I love all the that, escpecially my Master, and I wouldn't go back and change it. But I'm talking to an old high school friend right now, and just found out that he's also into the lifestyle and really liked me back in high school. It got me thinking about the "what if"s; "what if we'd known that both of us were into the lifestyle?", "what if we did hook up?", and things like that. Just as a whole it's getting really annoying; the whole "what if" game and shit. But *shrugs* life is cruel like that sometimes, and yet at the same time, it can be very sweet and wonderful.

Lost Girl (from 7/21/09)

(poem writen by me)

Lost Girl copyright Wolfykitten 7/21/09

she looks up at the sky
a dead look in her eyes
passerbies notice the haunted look in her eyes
deep wounds scarring rough around the edges
opened up again
watch her walk through the day
feet stumbling eyes unseeing
notice the look on her face
such dead emptiness
but look into her eyes
see into her soul
a hurt only recognized by one whose pain is equal to
someone killed her best friend
and she's seen his ghost again
in the words he's written
in the email he's sent her
asking to be friends again
after he's hurt her again

Marks (about 6 months old)

(older post from I think the day after going to my first BDSM club when I got flogged):

Ohohohohohohohohohohoh! I still have bruises from the flogging and my ass is still a little sore. Yays!

more updates

(at some point after the piercing): -Had my first orgasm in about 27 days!
(at some point a few weeks ago): -Finallyfinallyfinally was able to be mentally empty and was able to cum and go up into subspace for the first time in 6 months.