Sunday, August 23, 2009

To ache

Song of the Day: 'Doll Parts' by Hole

Saying goodbye hurts, but sometimes it's nessaccary. As much as we'd hate to admit it, it can often times be for the best. It may hurt more than we can stand, but what makes use strong is our abbility to stand it and live through that pain. Even if that someone caused you so many tears and so much pain, a small part of you will always love them; a small part of you will always want to be theirs, be it their submissive, their dominant, or (for those vanilla) their boyfriend/girlfriend. As much as I hate to admit it, I can be hurt, even if I don't show it. Most of the time I'll just lie and say I'm fine, but inside, I'm breaking apart and dying inside, a pain so hard to hide but nessaccary to survive. We all have times and moments like that, and sadly, I'm having one right now.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Thuddy or Stingy? YES!!!!!!!

Song of the Day: 'Tao Of The Machine' BT & The Roots


Over the weekend I went to my first bdsm club (honestly, it was also the first club I've ever been to in general) and I got flogged for the first time! I was clipped onto a St. Andrew's cross and my basically bare ass and shoulderblades were flogged a bunch. ::a dazed and satisfied look comes into my eyes as I remember Saturday night:: Oh, it was so much fun and such a sweet wonderful pain. This was my brain during the flogging: "Ooo, Master's flogging me. Yays. (in a very dazed voice)", "Oooo, Master's enjoying flogging me. (more dazed voice)", and "Aahh, pain. (and even more dazed voice)". Yup, that was pretty much the extent of my thinking during the flogging. I'm 99.999% sure that that's going to be one of the things that's going to put me into subspace. I've found that I love the sounds of the flogger wooshing through the air, and the thud of it hitting my back ::shivers in pleasure:: I didn't think I'd like it that much, but I loved it! If someone were to ask me if I liked stingy or thuddy, my answer would be? YES!!!! Just take a cane or flogger to me and I'll squirm and wiggle and maybe whimper at the pain, but i'll be so fucking wet with the pleasure of it as well. ::sighs again with a dope-y grin on my face as I wiggle my still sore ass on the hard seat I'm sitting in:: Andandandandand I have marks! Yays! Bruises on my ass and shoulders and they look so awesome. ::blushes:: What, I don't mark easily so I'm happy to have them.......